Funny Ego...

Life is full of many incidents. Some bring you smiles and some leave tears whenever you think about them. Some are full of innocence while in some you see a typical traits of your personality. While some other makes you smile and think, what kind of stupid/idiot were you?


I have just put one of the similar incidents in words. It just starts like this…

It was afternoon & I was having a bad day after a big fight with my parents and one of my cousins. Everything sounded like hell. I just need to take it out on someone, not on someone I know — but on someone I don’t know. I was sitting at my study table when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, “Hello.”
I politely said, “Can I talk to Hansie?”

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Hansie’s correct number and called her again. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an *** ****!” and hung up.
I noted down his number with the same word ‘*** ****’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, whenever I had a bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an *** ****!” It always brought cheer on my face.

When caller ID became popular in my city, I thought my therapeutic ‘*** ****’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, I am Sameer from the Telephone Exchange. I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the Caller ID program?”

He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an *** ****!”

One day I was at a neighbourhood market, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black Cielo cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for my new LML scooter. I hit the horn and yeller that I had been waiting for that spot. The 6ft tall idiot simply ignored me. He later on banged my new scooter while getting out. Somehow, I noticed a “For Sale” sign on his car window & I wrote down his number mentioned below.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first *** ****, I thought I had better call the Cielo *** ****, too.
I said, “Is this the man with the black Cielo for sale?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can you tell me where I can see it?”
“Yes, I live in 24# Sector 46, Chandigarh. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“My name is Karan,” he said.
“When’s a good time to catch you, Karan?”
“I’m home every evening after five.”
“Listen, Karan, can I tell you something?”
“Yes?”
“Karan, you’re an *** ****.”
Then I hung up, and noted down his number in my list, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *** ***** to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea.

I called *** **** #1.
“Hello.”
“You’re an *** ****!” (But I didn’t hang up.)
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Stop calling me,” he screamed.
“Make me,” I said.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Karan.”
“Yeah? Where do you live?”
“*** ****, I live in 24# Sector 46, Chandigarh, a yellow house, with my black Cielo parked in front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Karan. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, *** ****.”

Then I called *** **** #2.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hello, *** ****,” I said.
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…!”
“You’ll what?” I said.
“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.
I answered, “Well, *** ****, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 24# Sector 46, Chandigarh and My name is Karan and that two gangs of boys are coming over to have a fight in the lane. They are abusing each other loudly and has damaged some private properties and then hanged up.

I quickly got into my LML and headed over to the same street.

When I got there, I saw two *** ***** beating the crap out of each other in front of six policemen and calling each other *** ****.
All this I did, just to feel better. Whatever you guys might think but whenever I think about this incident I always think what kind of *** **** I was?

Jokes apart, after few months I realized how wrong I was. Though I never met both of them ever and have never confessed it to anyone in my life. I have repented about it and have felt sorry number of times. This is one of the incidents that have helped me change my thinking process for good. Sometimes I wonder how far can we go just to satisfy our ego. I just wish it never happens again ever.