Just to open your Heart...

Keeping secrets within me,
Listening when you're busy,
Holding memories tight in my heart,
Loving the unlovely memories,
Smiling when you’re worn,
Just to open your heart for me.

For all the sacred thoughts and dreams,
For holy smiles and words,
For sunshine on a winter's day,
I held our memories within me,
Gently, like young children,
Just to open your heart for me.

The ear is half a heart in shape,
When two ears join, The heart is formed,
The heart tells the truth, and sometimes,
Listen to yours and you will know,
Why I did everything with my eyes closed?
Its just to open your heart for me.

With Love
Manish Mahajan

When Words Fail...

When words fail and heaviness of the heart takes hold...
and a bird fly in the sky, singing.....
When memories come back like unwelcome guests...
and nothing can lessen your burden.....

When the clothes come out a misty grey...
and the weather becomes an ominous day.....
When your face stops smiling...
and I see you there, feeling the same way.....

When winter comes and everything’s cold...
touch me and warm me by fire.....
When words fail and heaviness takes hold...
come, sit by my side and hug me higher.....

With Love
Manish Mahajan

I Love To Be Alone...

I am a very passionate person. I care greatly about the people and the things I commit myself to. I love to be around people, and there are a lot of times I love to be alone. One thing I am extremely passionate about my family and friends. I am very creative and am passionate about my writing. My poetry is my emotional release. It is inspired by my experiences in combination with the experiences that other people confide to me about. Lastly, I hold people close enough, and far enough away. I have many aspirations and goals, that I one day hope to complete...

We lived together for months in a thick
We black dons and while angels
Always trying to interweave each other’s way
We met, greeted & gave each other new tastes
Of that same old musty cheese, that we are
But I can't take it anymore

I want solitude
I love to be alone
Like when the snow falls fast
& closes all the roads
& the wind howls in the wood
Indescribable

Just let me have a draught
Of undiluted morning air
At the first fountainhead of every day
Let me sit alone rapt in revery
In undisturbed silence & I will remember
Past the ennui & the blues
That I’ve never found
A better friend than solitude

I need some solitude
Because sometimes I just love to be alone

With Love
Manish Mahajan

What A Fool I Am.....?

What a fool I am? So full of irrationality...
Infinitely captivated in ignorance...
Naggingly nested in nurtured naivety...
Easily relaxed into reassurance.....

I fell in love with you & silly me...
I tried to say that forevermore I would play...
I did not know, the old wounds have not yet healed...
And that it's irrelevant just what I feel.....

My soul got crushed beneath your heel...
I guess this means I'm not quite real...
So don't look in future, I'll go back home...
And you won't have to hear me moan.....

Now in the twilight, I see your wings...
Spread and soar as your spirit sings...
You’ve forgotten me and the little things...
With which I'd hoped to win your heart.....

I am so long called fool, I have become...
I am a thing of twilight. I am afraid...
A foolish guy standing before a girl...
Asking her to love him. What a fool I am.....?

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Memory of Losing You...

Can I capture in words, the feelings I have for you…?

Never had such feelings for anything…

Whenever I try to pen them down…

Our memories take me to this appalling world…..

Touching the depths of my feelings…

I can’t explain the essence of those feelings…..

I always feel as I know you already…

These fading memories and young hearts…

Not able to envisage every being apart…

Even a thought of losing you, panics me still…..

I’m swept away with paper and quill…

Thinking of never seeing you again…..

A shadowy figure now slowly erased…

The memory of losing you, I must admit…

Intense my heart and cuts to the quick…

My heart grows icily, without your embrace…..

The memory of losing you corrupts my mind…

Piercing my psyche, lost in time…..

I can never forget your tender touch…

That once brought me back to the light…

Loving you makes me smile and cry…

Now that you’re gone, I cry out in the night, alone…..

The memory of losing you, I can’t put on…

Intrigues my soul from beginning to end…..

Like two traveling companions, once we were one…

Living separately now, our feelings have ended…

Why you stole my heart, like a thief in the night…?

Forever broken, it takes no delight…..

The memory of losing you is engraved in time…

Demarcated before and after, you were mine…..

With Love
Manish Mahajan

What is this we Feel?

People get so caught up in their own problems and think no one else has problems. But everybody does in some way or another and every problem is not worth talking. Although with me its just untrue...

Friends keep on telling me, I will get through this depression and I argue, why do they think I am depressed? What made them think so? Just because I write heartbreaking poems and because I prefer to remain silent and observe now a days or is that so because I don’t know who I am anymore or I don’t like where I am right now. I am lost a bit, so that can also be the reason why people around me think so.

Well whatever the reason is, let them think and occupy their mind in some way or the other as we all know "Empty Mind Is Devil's House." In the mean time let me write another...

Heavy rain came crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Hopes are gone and have flown away
In this vast sky through the sunup

Across the floor I can see shadows
Casting reflections from the past
Tremulous thoughts of the life
Persistent deep within the soul

A paranormal sense of reality
Ruled by the emotions
And full of perplexities
Created by a disturbance in the water

Living with the illusion of understanding
Chattering amongst the green
The whole thing slows in quietness
What is this we Feel?

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Why am I _ _ _ _?

Everywhere I go, I find her before me…
There are no moments of vanishing beauty…
Sustained by pain and freedom to express…
I have little doubts about what is happening…..

Eventually the snow will thaw…
But one is never sure about the drift…
Or what rests beneath this covering...
That was not there before the storm…..

Colored leaves always changing would confuse…
If she ever been there before…?
I don’t know about this outright falsehood…
It’s really hard to think of by my mind.....

It’s not my intention to examine…
But there’s not enough for me to hold on to…
There is no one present at that address…
That much is clear already…..

I was never there before, in her life…
May be, I am not going to be…
But then, Why am I down...?
This was never there before…..

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Carved On Walkways...

"I am the type of person who hides the hurt until it gets to the point where I can't hide it anymore. I walk a lot alone, think things over, and weep, worry and laugh all the same. Well, I let my thoughts go to the earth, in the park, on the walkway home, and now here, too. Passions is a lot like the park where I leave all my thoughts, my silences - that aren't so silent anymore, are they?"

Carved on walkways from the park to home

are the silences of me.

The story of times passing

the tales of the truth to be had.

Carved on walkways from the park to home

are the footprints of every tear

that escort me at night.

Fingerprints for the words I had touched

and my breath on the wind in tune. The prints

of knees in concrete, where I sang out my anger

and wept in this city of stars.

Carved in walkways from the park to home

is the litter of my stains

my scars and their reeking wounds, remains

in trails under the leaves of fall.

Snow and rain can't wash them away

they have been drunk by the roots

of the antique trees in nights of needing

and linger in ways to the door.

They are... the silences of me.

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Our Song...

Nights now are longer...
But time passes unnoticed...
Even the mornings are dark and quiet...
My heart echoes only your voice singing our song.....

I've set it on a silent mode...
Signalling our lost affection...
Colouring the canvas with sadness...
Filling the pages of my journal...
With words formed from my bleeding heart.....

Smothering the lines with my tears...
I am trying to erase you from my life...
Attempting to rip the pages...
But that would mean me tearing everything!.....

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Tommorrow...

Love came and went away...
I waited and it arrived...
But then, why did I let it drift away?...
And now I await for its return.....

We parted...
But like the seasons, I hope...
That day would be here again...
Tomorrow, even if love is not.....

Even if we say goodbye hundred times...
And wait a hundred lifetime...
Just keep the love...
It will lead us back home, Tomorrow.....

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Goodbye...

I don't want to get out of your life quietly...
Never wanted any of those sad goodbyes too...
Asked for some happy memories...
And not to part in a fight.....

Sometimes I wander back into those shadows...
Quietly being who I used to be...
Bringing to life all the joys and the sorrows...
Days that can’t die while they still live in me.....

Don’t want to look back and see you cry...
See trails of our brighter days...
Those memories are still fresh...
For there was no painful goodbye.....

With Love
Manish Mahajan

One More Time!

How hard must I press before the knife breaks skin...
How much pain must I endure before the blade slides in...
These questions begin when the pain arrives...
These questions I ask before I drain my life.....

I cut for reasons only known to me...
I cut for reasons others cannot see...
Reasons that would bring anyone to tears...
Reasons that hide within and feed on my fears.....

Now I must cut more for it to feel the same...
I must cut more and increase the pain...
The pain that takes my mind off of love...
But this pain never made me curse her up above.....

The shock rushes through my arm and to my head...
The shock who's cause has left many dead...
A cause that puts many six feet under...
A cause that makes my head pound like thunder.....

I spill my life onto the floor...
I spill my life only wanting more...
More sensations on my wrists and tingles down my spine...
More watching all the guilt forming a red line.....

It's not over and I'm not done...
It's now time to watch the blood run...
As it dries I put up the knife and end the hate crime...
As it dries I smile as I ask myself, "one more time....."

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Longin in Pain...

Eternally, I thought, my eyes would shed these tear
tears that burned their paths down my cheeks
and drained me of love, I choked and could not speak

These tears were those of fear, of love, and of care
These tears are those of fear, of love, and of care

You watched me in my suffering and in my pain
and smiled in affected way, baring your teeth
swearing that you too hurt, only buried underneath your poise

Yet still my zeal continued to wane
For I began to doubt your feelings for me
I felt your bitterness, your resentment, and all above,
I felt your indifference, your unwillingness and all-above,
I resolved that these cold emotions did not entail the love
So before you declared with such vivacity
I broke from your hold, and finally I may see, you cry
when you see at long last, my eyes are now dry…”

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Something Special...

There is something special about you
in the way you look at me
in the way you smile
in the way you squeeze my hand when I’m feeling low
There is something special in the way you say
“You are the best friend in my life”
with the twinkle that tells me that
I’m the only one
There is something special in the way you just
Fit into my life
I know you are really special”

With Love
Manish Mahajan

I'm There.....

Laughing merrily with my friends
discussing ideas, events and trends
I noticed you there, standing alone
lost in thoughts, of your own

You are unruffled, on the surface
with tranquil eyes, and a calm face
A blushing flower, in its bloom
but inside you are, drenched with gloom

Your silence, intrigues me
and I look for clues, to solve your mystery

Is it a failure? fear or a complex
that haunts your hidden history
or are you so hurt by this world
that you refuse, to say a word.

Whatever it is I don't know
but I just want to let you know
that if one day, you feel stranded
and don't know where to go
I'll lend you an ear, and patiently hear
all about you.....
most of which, I already know."

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Wait... Never ending one.....

In this world of indifference...
you held my hand like an Angel.....
you showered me with love and care...
standing with me in every dispair.....
but you never remain the same...
and our relation lost all its fame.....
today we are so much apart...
nothing seems to hear so far.....

still there thinking of you...
still there waiting for you.....

you don't seem to hear those screams...
you are not there to hold my hands.....
there is no angel coming to me...
but I am still waiting to see...
From somewhere, you might come....
From where, I just failed to see....."

With Love
Manish Mahajan

Someone known...Unknown.....

When I started writing.....June 2000

"Once in my life, I had pledged....
to never let my heart rule my mind...

But, you are so much a part...
of what gives my heart, its reason to rejoice.....
Why my spirits lift?...
To have the gift of your sweet and gentle voice.....
And I want you so to someone know...
How much you mean today?.....
That, you will always be...
a part of me...as time goes on its way.....

I know that time can never change the love...
I have for you.....
Except to make it deeper...
still with everything we do.....
In all my dreams of coming years...
you play the greatest part.....
for I know that time will never change...
the LOVE within my heart.....

Can't seem to find the proper words...
to let you know today.....
The reason why you're...
thought of in such a special way.....
Perhaps its all those little things...
you always say and do.....
But most of all, without a doubt...
its just because you're you....."

With Love
Manish Mahajan